


Energy Well Spent

by crazygirlne



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, F/M, I accepted a dare, Poetry, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 14:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8718022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazygirlne/pseuds/crazygirlne
Summary: Jack brings up "Bad Touch" lyrics when needling Nine and Rose.
Poetry response to a dare.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Caedmon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caedmon/gifts).



> Okay, where to start?
> 
> Caedmon issued a challenge on Facebook to incorporate lyrics from one of a few specific songs for this week’s Timepetalsprompts. I went and looked at the prompt, and when I saw the alternate to song lyrics was a poem, me being who I am, I thought, why not both?
> 
> So. Here’s a poem that is set roughly as a Night Before Christmas parody, featuring a few select lyrics from Bloodhound Gang’s Bad Touch.
> 
> Enjoy?

Twas the night before Christmas,   
And all through the halls  
The Tardis was humming,  
Echoing their calls.

It started in Paris   
When after a jaunt,   
Jack Harkness did cackle:  
“I know what you want.

"Doctor, you want Rose,”  
He said with a grin,   
“And the way she’s been watching,   
I’m quite sure she’s in.”

“In for what?” asked the Doc,   
Arms crossed over his chest,   
Refusing to glance   
At the gal he liked best.

“In for love,” answered Jack,  
With a wink at his friend,   
“The kind you clean up  
With a mop and–” “End,”

Cut off Rose, pink in the face,  
“Right there. That’s enough.”  
Jack didn’t look fazed.   
“What’s wrong? Like it rough?”

“What’s that matter?” said Nine,   
Grabbing hold of her hand.   
“Besides,” put in Rose,   
Grinning as she began,

“If we were gonna do  
Something from that song,   
That’s not the first.   
You would be wrong.”

The Doctor stared down  
At his companion in shock.   
Jack Harkness, of course,   
Took the excuse to talk.

“Oh? Tell me more,"   
He said with a leer,   
And Rose had a grin  
Doc had reason to fear.

"We’ve done it before,”  
She whispered. Jack grinned.   
“But when there’s something on  
When we begin,

"We both face the telly,   
The blankets in piles,   
And we do it like dogs,   
So we can both watch X-Files.”

Jack collapsed in laughter.   
The Doctor chuckled and frowned.   
He’d somehow lost track  
Of how the convo’d gone down.

“Sorry, Doctor,” said Rose  
When she caught her breath,   
“I had to pretend.   
Now he might laugh to death.”

“He’ll be fine, Rose,” he said,   
And he pulled her aside.   
“Though if you ever want,   
I’d be down for that ride.”

Though the words were crass,   
Doctor spoke soft and low.   
Rose looked up in shock.   
“I didn’t know.”

“Fancied you for a while,”  
He said, turning pink  
At the tips of his ears.   
“So, what do you think?”

Rose didn’t answer with words;  
She kissed him instead,   
Then leaned close to his ear:  
“Please take me to bed.”

And so here we were,   
In the Tardis again,   
Ship happily letting   
Doc and Rose sleep in

After a long, sleepless night,  
After a first time out,  
Doing the kind of stuff  
That only Prince would sing about.

And Jack, in his own room,   
Nodded, content.   
“Merry Christmas to all.   
Hope their energy’s well spent.”


End file.
